I like basketball waaay better than football. In fact, I don’t do fantasy football at all. And that’s why I felt like a kid nobody wanted to play with this past week. No matter the time, I did not see any full basketball mock-draft rooms. I only try with ESPN or Yahoo mock-drafts, ’cause that’s where the majority of my leagues are, and in both mock-drafts ‘lobbies’ there was little traffic. That’s a funny thing, this lobby in the ESPN mocking. There’s a lobby and some rooms. Feels like a cheap back-alley-charge-by-the-alley hotel. First you pick your kink; do you like head (to head), or the long marathon of a roto? Is it an auction or are snakes your thing? Hey, it’s okay, we won’t judge you. How many partners would you like? 8? 10? 12? 18??? Mock drafting is a kinky business… And finally, you pick the theme of the room. Would you like your draft orgy in the luxurious ‘Golden State mock 3675’, or the young ‘Philadelphia 12-team mock 91657’? Well the thing is that for a few weeks now it did not matter, because everybody were drafting football, and I was left alone in this big lobby, with all of these rooms, left there to play with myself. And hey, that I can do in other places on the web.
So football season started, and it does not interest me other than the fact that now I can mock-draft with actual people, and not some auto-picks. Don’t get me wrong, getting the guys you want every single time is a blast, but I guess I won’t be able to get Aaron Gordon at the back-end of the 12th round too often in the real draft six weeks from now. And for these past few days, the cavalry has arrived! There’s a growing flux of mock-drafters. All day (well, almost all day), you can find someone to draft with. Share your kinks a bit. I bet nobody at home knows you really prefer a 10-team h2h auction league. Well, in the mock-draft lobby, you are the king!
And the point is this: START MOCK DRAFTING. If you are doing fantasy NBA for some time, you already know and if you’re new to this wonderful world, you should start assimilating the fact that here, too, practice makes perfect. There’s nothing like knowing the draft room. Where all the secret sex toys are in that ‘Cleveland’ room in our hotel. Like, if Taurean Prince stays ranked at #277 on ESPN draft room, and then you grab him on the 12th or 13th round? The amazement in the room will be equivalent to George Constanza squinting and finding a dime on the floor in Seinfeld’s apartment. They will all think you’re a magician, but like George is a “Terrific squinter”, you’re just a terrific drafter, man. You might as well have planted Prince there, for all you care.
So guys, mock, mock, mock, until you get sick of it. Listening and reading about industry mocks is great, but you should experience it yourselves. Then you’ll know what to do when a guy grabs Nerlens Noel a round before you expect. You’ll have a backup lined up… If you must take one thing from this week’s blog, is that when you step into a draft, just like a brothel orgy (and we’ve all been there, right?), you should relax, play it safe and with a backup plan. Nobody wants to end up the the sweaty, over-chubby, slightly-but-surely-bearded lady (that’s Johakim Noah in our lovely analogy, but actually fits both fantasy NBA and that nice description of life in the red-lights district).
So what did I learn this week?
- ESPN mock-draft site was blocked in my office! Wonder why…
- Eurobasket is quite interesting
- Finding similarities between mock drafts and brothels feels slightly satisfying and tremendously dirty
- D’Angelo Russel will “score a lot”. Thanks, duh
- It’s hard to learn stuff when nothing happens
Have a great week, you guys!
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